The Skul Crew In Prussia
by TheZombieQueen
Summary: Ever wondered what happened in Prussia? Me too, to be honest with you and this a bunch of stories all about that. Rated T for the reason why Skulduggery is in his underpants. So uh, try to enjoy and love mushrooms. -The Awesome Zombie Queen
1. The Stupid Room

"Great, just great." Ghastly Bespoke murmured grumpily. He was always grumpy in the Irish Necromancer Temple. The atmosphere there was too dull for someone like him. Ghastly looked at the creepy black door in front of him then glared at the annoying necromancer guards. The necromancers glanced at each other, nodded and decided that it was the right time to go. It was, or their faces would be 2 sentimetres deeper than they have to be. Ghastly then looked at the door. It sure was creepy. It was ridiculously huge and chatoyant, changing from black to purple. Annoying creepy door. He sighed and opened the annoying door.

The room in front of him was brighter than he guessed, with grey stone walls and ceiling. An artistic black chandelier at least changed the boring atmosphere of the room. There was a huge round black table which looked like the ones important work was discussed and it definitely was. He was brought, or to put delicately, dragged away from his home like a puppy from here to discuss something that nobody told him about but he knew it was about Mevolent. They needed to take care of him fast. It was obvious that it wasn't going to be easy so the temple and the Sanctuary needed to work together to stop this chaos once and for all before anyone else was killed.

He sighed then walked to the round table. He spotted someone sitting on one of the, again black, chairs. Ghastly stepped closer and he saw a familiar face. High cheekbones. Jet black hair. A normal mouth and lips. One brown one hazel eyes, narrowed. This wasn't a good sign. Oh right, he was also in his underpants. Ghastly wondered about the reason. His bare arms were crossed tightly. He spotted Ghastly. His cold eyes went warm again and waved to Ghastly slowly. Ghastly greeted him with a nod. He walked towards his friend and sat on the chair next to him. He glanced at him. His arms were crossed again and he was gazing at the empty boring rooms. He was humming some random melodies. And those underpants... Ghastly forced the chuckle down and cleared his throat.

"You look like you're about to laugh."

Ghastly give a slow nod.

"I am."

"I wouldn't worry about the feeling." he waved a hand lazily. " Everyone gets it when you see someone like me in his underpants."

"I'm faintly wondering why, to be honest with you."

"It's a long story. But also highly amusing."

"It seems like it is."

They both nodded and then it was silence again. Skulduggery Pleasant slowly, very slowly, turned his head to Ghastly. Ghastly did so too. They stared at each other for a full second. Skulduggery's right eyebrow twiched then Ghastly burst out laughing when Skulduggery simply grinned with satisfaction. Ghastly was stubborn, but no one could hold themselves when they see the one and only Skulduggery Pleasant, protecting his dignity with great determination, with his awesome underpants. Ghastly straightened up and looked at Skulduggery.

"Alright," he said, holding himself, "That was funny."

"It really was."

"But seriously, why are you in your underpants?"

Skulduggery looked at him and blinked. A naive expression appeared on his face and he replied simply.

"I'm married."

They exchanged looks. Ghastly understood immediately.

"OK that's enough detail for me." Skulduggery raised an eyebrow and smiled faintly. A smile creeped up on Ghastly's face too.

Skulduggery tilted his head. "Well... Don't you want to know why they brought us here? I, naturally, know why."

"Now how did you achieve that? I couldn't even get a few words out of anyone."

"I did. But they were definitely not kind words."

Ghastly narrowed his eyes. "Necromancers aren't known for cursing."

"I might have been holding a knife." Skulduggery murmured. "It's not my fault that they get scared of _a small knife._" Ghastly raised an eyebrow.

"Alright," Skulduggery nodded eventually,"It wasn't that small."

Ghastly nodded understandingly. If a knife is pointed at you then that means you had it coming somehow. Barging in and grabbing someone from their home is one good example. And for Skulduggery, just pointing a knife was a good improvement.

Then they heard low voices outside the room. Ghastly and Skulduggery looked at each other.

"This is not going to end well." Ghastly whispered.

"As everything involving necromancers go."

"Exactly."

"And they stole my hat."

"Try to stay calm."

"They stole my _hat_." Skulduggery said through gritted teeth. "It was one of my favourites."

"Every single one is."

"I can't help it," Skulduggery shrugged "My sense of finery is too good for them."

Ghastly sighed.

Then a group of necromancers entered the room. Their robes creating a long black wave through the room. The tallest one of them all was the High Priest. His face was inscrutable under the hood of his long black robe. They saw a familiar face, Auron Tenabrae, looking annoying as usual. He was holding a hat. He looked at Skulduggery and a hint of smile appeared on his face. Skulduggery just growled. This was definitely not going to end well.


	2. The Truth About Necromancers

... It didn't end so damn well.

Skulduggery pushed the doors open in one little move of his hand and went out quickly from the stupid room before someone lost their heads. Skulduggery gritted his teeth but couldn't hold the snarl back. His head was burning like a boiling pot. His anger filled his mind with disturbing thoughts.

...But they weren't disturbing now were they? These were the _truth._ Stupid emo death fanatics. Always talking smugly. They were insane. They were the type of troublemakers who dragged out people of their homes for a reason that doesn't even matter for the Sanctuary. They had more important things to do than saving some people that don't even _deserve to live_. Even their sacrifisal wouldn't change a _thing._ Yes. They had to be taken care of. The way they walk, even way they _talk_ was _disgusting_. Everything about them were disgusting. And Auron had his hat. _His hat._ He didn't even realise what he did until he heard a loud breaking sound. Sound of glass. He took a moment. He realised that his fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles looked like they were about to burst out from his fists. He first thought they actually did burst out of his fist because something sharp was coming out of his fist, right in the area between his middle and index finger. It was black and didn't evn look like a knuckl-... Oh.

He blinked and scowled at the devastatingly big piece of glass that has stabbed his hand. He slowly reached for it, got a good grip and pulled it out. He hissed a curse then stepped on the bloody glass shard on the ground and it crumbled. Revenge.

He adjusted his hand and checked his ring. His wife would kill him painfully if he lost it. Luckily it was there. He got to live a day longer. Great.

Some necromancers gathered around and then more and then there was a crowd that formed around Skulduggery. They looked at the broken window and then him. They began to whisper. Then somebody was coming through the crowd. The heads turned and formed an open space for the man.

"I heard something and presume it came from-..." Ghastly stated the crowd and then Skulduggery.

Well yes, it seems like it." A hint of a smirk appeared on Skulduggery's face. Ghastly sighed then looked down from the space and saw the poor broken window that had no idea what was about to happen. He ignored the crowd's rather loud whispers looked at him.

"That window was innocent."

Skulduggery shrugged,"If it knew me good enough he would know this would happen and would eventually move from that spot."

"It's a window_._"

"It doesn't mean it's not magic."

"It wasn't."

"Are you sure? It seems quite magic to me."

Ghastly sighed again but didn't reply. He knew that Skulduggery didn't mean to kill a window after all. He was always angry but he could control it. Not for too long but he could control it. He could at least have a clear head before he punched someone and this was good enough. But this situation was an exception. Just who wouldn't be angry if they were dragged out of their house half naked?

He saw Skulduggery poking his wound. He winced. Ghastly looked around and at the top of the small cupboard next to the window.

"There has to be a bandage around here somewhere."

Skulduggery looked up at him.

"I don't need a bandage. I need my hat."

"We'll get your hat back. But first we have to find some bandage."

"_He_ had _my_ _hat._" Skulduggery said, almost like a whine but he followed Ghastly anyways through the crowd.

Skulduggery looked at his bandaged hand in the refirnary and sighed. He leaned back then looked up at the ceiling. After a moment he let out a small laugh. Did he really think that way for the necromancers anyways? It was true that they were fanatics. But it was also true that they weren't wearing t-shirts and hats saying "Go Death" or stuff.

But the thing about their sacrifisal was totally wrong. So was the one about the fight not being theirs. He shaked his head. He didn't really love the necromancers but their lives were as important as theirs. They were individuals who were there to sacrifise themselves for their loved ones. They had a life. Friends. He looked at his ring. Family. He thought of his wife. How she smiled and laughed and gave him a soft slap if he made a wisecrack. He replayed the memory they first kissed. The feeling. He smiled softly and lifted his hand and placed a gentle kiss on his ring. He then closed his eyes and let the shame cover his thoughts. How could he think of that way? He felt his remaining anger drift away and he began to think sensible again. Sensible enough at least. He then grunted and his head drooped.

He still didn't have his hat.


End file.
